Wanna be my Friend ?

Disclaimer : This post is dedicated to all Orkut Romeos and Majnus who are very aggressive in scrapping to beautiful females and sending them friend request. And before the readers start to make impression about the degree of hypocrisy of the author, I would honestly admit myself as an integral member of frequent scrapers gang. In addition to that, this story is not a piece of fiction, but the characters i.e. myself and my friends are very very very fictional.

WANNA BE MY FRIEND ?

I am a frequent Orkut user. I am blessed with 623 friends out of which 200 would be in the "haven't met" category. I have around 6000 scraps and 189 fans. I can still remember those days when I was very much focused towards increasing my fans.

Me : Abbee...mere fans bahut kam hai yaar Orkut par.
Friend 1: (in a very tensed tone) Haan be...mere bhi fans bahut kam hai...kya karun kuch samjh nahi aa raha
Me : Sale, tu mera fan hai ya nahi ?
Friend 1: Shayad nahi....
Me : (Hurt badly)..hatt saale...tu dost nahi hai...
Friend 1: Kya dosti ki baat karta hai...tu bhi to mera fan nahi hai.
Me : Chal thik hai...tu mera Fan ban ja, aur main bhi tera Fan ban jata hun.

And after 10 minutes we both were smiling as we had one count more in our Fan's list. This was a mutual agreement of fan-ship which incurred no cost. But there was one more hard way to increase your fans. It was a path of investment.

Me : Abbee..main tera fan hun aur tu mera fan nahi hai ?..ye to thik baat nahi hai yaar !!
Friend 2 : Kya thik baat nahi hai...chal kat le side se !!..
Me : Kya yaar...ban ja na mera fan... 2 minute lagega...
Friend 2: Paka mat yaar...jaa na yahan se...
Me : Achha tu mera Fan ban jayega to main tere ko treat doonga....Canteen me..
Friend 2: (Thinking how much stupid I am)..Thik hai...ye le.... (and he clicked on the yellow star near my name)

But why so much effort on increasing the number of fans and beautifying our Orkut accounts ?
Because we believed to look "COOL" on our profiles. When a girl will look on my profile then she will think - Ohh....what a cool guy. See he is popular too with so many fans on his list. With this "very true" belief , we started applying for friendship in scrapbook of girls. Since we didn't had much experience in this field, so we decided to refer some of the Gurus in this field. We searched for our Guru in some of our female friends scrapbook and we were very impressed by the style of friendship application. One of the dude wrote :

hi ...............
how r u dear..........?

whats goings on ......?

uske ashkoon ko apne hooton se hai piya
dil k kagaz pe lahuu se uska naam hai likh liya
uske ghamoon se apni khushiyoon ko hai siya
uspe arpan apna sab kuch hai kiya
itna chaha usse ki jeevan usike naam kar diya
lekin fir b agar uske bina jiya, to kya jiya
to kya jiya... to kya jiya... to kya jiya...

and the same dude had again posted a crap..oops.. Scrap.

HI .....DEAR
HOW R U .......?
WHATS GOING ON..........?
ENJOY THESE LINES ..............

What is a BEAUTIFUL Girl???
An innocent dove,
A pillar of beauty,
A temple of love,
A faithful companion,
A friend in distress,
The richest treasure a man can possess..

MAINE NAHI LIKHI ......,
LEKIN KISI NE TOH LIKI HAI .......................


and again repeat after 2 days.

HI …DEAR ,
HOW R U ...............

The night has a thousand eyes, And the day but one;
Yet the light of the bright world dies, With the dying sun.
The mind has a thousand eyes, And the heart but one;
Yet the light of a whole life dies, When love is done.


After reading his style of application for friendship, we thought that we really lack skills in this area. Neither we are so much poetic, nor so much inquisitive that we keep on asking for "How is she" non stop without even getting a reply. So we discovered our incompetency as we could not pursue a course under him. We searched for next and this time we got even better and talented Guru. His approach was very direct and romantic.

Hi...
I see your profile. You is baeutiful and your profile is also baeutiful. Your name is aslo nice and also I am smaart and handsume. With love call me "Chintu"..every body called me "Chintu"
Let us be fraands ?..What is your saying ?... enjoy !!!

Short and crisp !!! These guys were like top class busy professionals who don't have time to think and write again and again on same scrapbook. They come, they post scrap and sometimes they conquer. Now once again we saw our lack of talent as we were just into this profession. Then a thought came to our mind.

"We are the future of the nation. We are in the top most engineering college of India. We shall not be dependent on anyone, but we shall think like an entrepreneur. We shall develop our own strategy for applying for friendship"

And then we planned and designed a master scrap to be sent to all the girls. Then we did only Ctrl-C and Ctrl-V, the thing we are best at. We looked for a community of some girls college. We randomly opened 50- 60 profiles of girls and posted our master scrap in all of their scrapbook. After this job, we slept like we have conquered the world.

Next morning, I woke up in expectation of some reply. I saw some very good language used for me. For example :

U jerk

another one :

Kuch kaam nahi hai karne ke liye...sharam nahi aati

And I was really confused as why I got such replies. Again after some research I found that I had sent the same master scrap to two girls who were room mates. And my abilities of identifying target market was under question. My future of being an entrepreneur is in dark. I was in a poor light.

Now I do not think much on what to write in the scrapbook or how much are my fans. But still when ever I see any hot girl on Orkut, a deep sound echoes in my heart - "WANNA BE MY FRIEND"